I've been taking it pretty easy lately trying to spend as little money as possible since my friends are getting here in a few hours and we're gonna be vacationing for about 11 days. Yesterday I went to Cafe Expresivo with Stacy, and amazing 32 girl who's pretty chill for the most part. I love talking with older people because they have so much perspective, they've just done so much more than I have and have great stories to tell. We discussed a ton of stuff and I've been reflecting a lot on my attitude. Generally I'm a pretty uptight, bossy kind of person. In fact I've been told that I'm the bossiest person that certain people have ever met. Now, since I'm in such a tranquilo country I figured I could make use of the time to let the little things go and relax more. Generally there is no need to let so many things upset you, they just aren't worth it in the long run. That and I'm trying to change my attitude as far as hearing other people out. To all those people that I've had this issue with, I'm sorry and I'm trying, don't give up hope for me yet.
Anyhow, the Stracy and I hung out and talked for about 4 hours straight which was a nice change from the usual, come home, eat dinner, watch TV go to bed routine I've been in. The past couple of nights I haven't been sleeping well at all, I've been having stressful dreams and I'm just generally a little anxious. I know that things will resolve themselves once people get here. My new mantra in life is "Peace of heart and clarity of mind."
This past weekend I went to the Tobogan (as usual) on Friday. Saturday was spent chilling with my tica family and I took Pamela and Nicol rollerskating. Man, I've talked about this before with some people, but don't you wish you could re-create the fearlessness of childhood? I mean, I got into my skates and it took me an hour to get around the stupid rink once because I kept stopping for fear of falling on my ass. I mean here I am, a virtual giant compared to all these children whizzing by and I won't let go of the railing while 7 year old Nicol just skates off like nothing. Maybe it's because they are closer to the ground so they don't have as far to fall or something but little kids just throw fear to the wind and have fun. Lesson anyone?
Saturday night Cinea my tica aunt invited Ligia and I to a single/divoreced/widowed over thirty party. At first I was kinda skeptical but I didn't have any plans so I said why not. I have to give it to Latinos, they know how to party. It wasn't one of these drink till you are sloshed, hook up with some random person kinda party. People were friendly and open. They drank, but only a little and boy, people didn't stop dancing. Basically it was hours of people just enjoying themselves and talking, joking, and having a great time.
Sunday the four of us, plus Cinea and my abuela-tica went to the park for a picnic. Overall everyone just chilled and drank in the sun. All this time with the psuedo-familia really makes me miss my own though. However, my parents did call me to let me know that they were heading to the Spurs/Houston game that I bought them tickets to. Unfortunately for my father, the Spurs wiped the floor with the Rockets. It made me miss home less to just chill and watch the game on tv. Technically soccer is the national sport of Costa Rica but I only have enough room in my heart for one team.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Thursday, February 19, 2004
And I thought they were gone for good
Oh no, they're back. That's right, the knots in my shoulder had gone fishin but now they've returned to set up shop. God, in spite of all my drama, I really didn't have much stress here but now I have a huge headache and I wish I had my loveseat, a bottle of wine, some chill music and some candles.
Ok, I do not have control of other people or they're actions. Or for that matter what kind of time they have when they come visit me in Costa Rica, what they're doing at home, what happens if I'm not there to help them in their flower shop over Valentine's Day, what's gonna happen to them if they get caught one more time by the cops, what kind of state their marriage is in, NADA. I only have to worry about my budget here in Costa Rica, not missing too many classes, and remembering to slather the sunscreen on. That is it. In the long run, everything is trivial and trivial things do not merit stress. Ok, feel better already.
Ok, I do not have control of other people or they're actions. Or for that matter what kind of time they have when they come visit me in Costa Rica, what they're doing at home, what happens if I'm not there to help them in their flower shop over Valentine's Day, what's gonna happen to them if they get caught one more time by the cops, what kind of state their marriage is in, NADA. I only have to worry about my budget here in Costa Rica, not missing too many classes, and remembering to slather the sunscreen on. That is it. In the long run, everything is trivial and trivial things do not merit stress. Ok, feel better already.
Tico Culture
Ligia invited me to a little get together with some friends and I thought that quality time without any Americans would be great, and it was, sort of. First of all, ticos are really sweet, friendly people if you meet them in the right situations. For example, the kids I go to school with want nothing to do with us gringos. I finally asked some random guy in line next to me what the story was and he said that ticos thought that gringo students were stuck up and thought they were better than the costa ricans. Not true at all, but that's how the ticos see it. Tica girls HATE American girls, they're super rude to us. And customer service here is non-existant. Maybe it's that they're on their own time, maybe it's that they don't like Americans but do not expect courtesy from people around here who don't know you.
However, if you're lucky enough to meet some ticos through other ticos, they're super friendly. Back to the party, everyone was really friendly and very welcoming, which is very characteristic of Latinos. Unfortunately also very characteristic of Latinos is closemindedness. In the span of three hours I heard a woman tell a story of how she was outraged that her hospital let someone with AIDS work the ultrasound machine. Mind you this person had virtually no contact with the patient and definately wasn't working with blood, but she was still furious. Then I had people talk about how wasteful the United States were, how we threw away perfectly good things when there were people here who were so needy. Then I heard about how the people in the United States had no idea what hard work was, that's why they were all in therapy, when Latinos just knew how to cope with a tough life. Next in line was gay bashing, insulting immigrants to Costa Rica and finally ended with the men talking about how they all lied to their girlfriends and wives.
Damn. I had to try really hard to remember that I was in a very conservative country that didn't have as many civil rights movements as in the US, nor was it as aware about equality. Still, as many times as I've regretted being an American due to our foriegn policy, I was so excited that in a few weeks I get to go home to a country where I can be seen for a person, not a disease, my race, my gender, and where I can expect a lot of respect if I'm willing to earn it.
However, if you're lucky enough to meet some ticos through other ticos, they're super friendly. Back to the party, everyone was really friendly and very welcoming, which is very characteristic of Latinos. Unfortunately also very characteristic of Latinos is closemindedness. In the span of three hours I heard a woman tell a story of how she was outraged that her hospital let someone with AIDS work the ultrasound machine. Mind you this person had virtually no contact with the patient and definately wasn't working with blood, but she was still furious. Then I had people talk about how wasteful the United States were, how we threw away perfectly good things when there were people here who were so needy. Then I heard about how the people in the United States had no idea what hard work was, that's why they were all in therapy, when Latinos just knew how to cope with a tough life. Next in line was gay bashing, insulting immigrants to Costa Rica and finally ended with the men talking about how they all lied to their girlfriends and wives.
Damn. I had to try really hard to remember that I was in a very conservative country that didn't have as many civil rights movements as in the US, nor was it as aware about equality. Still, as many times as I've regretted being an American due to our foriegn policy, I was so excited that in a few weeks I get to go home to a country where I can be seen for a person, not a disease, my race, my gender, and where I can expect a lot of respect if I'm willing to earn it.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Poetry
Soy, tacitos amigos, el que sabe
que no hay otra venganza que el olvido
ni otro perdon.
I am, unspoken friends, the one that knows
that there is no other revenge than to forget,
nor any other forgiveness.
-Borges
El tiempo, como la vida, es laberinto
somos todo, y somos nada a la vez
Time, like life, is a labyrinth
we are everything, and nothing at once.
que no hay otra venganza que el olvido
ni otro perdon.
I am, unspoken friends, the one that knows
that there is no other revenge than to forget,
nor any other forgiveness.
-Borges
El tiempo, como la vida, es laberinto
somos todo, y somos nada a la vez
Time, like life, is a labyrinth
we are everything, and nothing at once.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Just keep swimming
I constantly go from having moments of calm, to being really frustrated and upset. I am trying to hard to have faith that there is a plan for me and that where I am right now is part of that plan. It's tough though. I need words of wisdom and peace and I'm not getting that at all. It might sound kind of high school-y but I've always loved music because there's someone who's singing about what you're going through, no matter what that is. Right now I don't have music and I don't have books and I don't have friends and I'm just ugh.
Blogs are public so I try my best to be positive in them, and think about the good side of things, but sometimes it doesn't feel like there's a good side. You know what it feel like right now? It feels like I'm swimming this huge stretch of white sandy beach where the water is crystal clear and the day is beauiful. I know I should be enjoying it, but I also know that if I stop swimming (i.e. trying to keep a positive mentality) that I'm gonna drown. No problem you say, just keep swimming. Well, the effor of swimming that long is exhuasting sometimes and if you pause to catch your breathe, you start to sink.
Blogs are public so I try my best to be positive in them, and think about the good side of things, but sometimes it doesn't feel like there's a good side. You know what it feel like right now? It feels like I'm swimming this huge stretch of white sandy beach where the water is crystal clear and the day is beauiful. I know I should be enjoying it, but I also know that if I stop swimming (i.e. trying to keep a positive mentality) that I'm gonna drown. No problem you say, just keep swimming. Well, the effor of swimming that long is exhuasting sometimes and if you pause to catch your breathe, you start to sink.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
No Day But Today
No time but right now. I've been doing a lot of contemplating lately. I had been tearing my hair out because it felt like everything at home was just crumbling in my absence. I don't have a job, or means to get one yet. I only get to talk to my friends in snatches, because they are all busy with their own lives. I know it's hard to communicate over IM and emails but it feels like I've lost touch with everyone. I've only heard two voices from home, my mom's and Alex's. I don't get to talk to my family but once a week and when I do talk to them, they're so afraid that if I'm not enjoying myself, I'm just going to fall into a depression. Even if things are tough for me at that moment, I just smile and say I'm having a great time because that's all they let me say. If I try to explain that I'm homesick, or that I'm having a problem, They just say, "No, don't worry about, have a good time, don't get yourself sick." It's frustrating.
My apartment isn't mine anymore, and though it feels like Houston is more my home than anywhere else in the world, what will it be without the people I love? It feels like everything that was important to me is being slowly dissolved until there's nothing left.
"I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again."
I think that God talks to you in the only way he can, through other people. Everyone's been telling me how I need to enjoy my time here. I'd been ignoring it, thinking that people didn't understand what I was going through. Then it finally really hit me. I do not have the power to change what is going on at home. I am in a different country, and if I spend all my time agonizing about what's going on somewhere else and things I have no control over right now, I was going to miss out on my time here. I will never have this time to live over again, I have to try to get the most out of it. And so I'm trying to.
Last night I went to the Tobogan with a huge group of friends and danced and danced. At 1 AM we squeezed 8 people into a Corolla and went to Denny's. It cracked me up, because it felt like being like I was at home again, meaning I was happy. I was having one of the best nights since I've gotten here.
But today it's Valentine's Day. Now, as strong and independent as you are, it is still tough to be alone on Valentine's Day, without so much as friends to bake cupcakes with and eat frosting and bitch about how we're alone on Valentine's Day. I remember last year when I got the most special day of my life and it's hard not to be sad and a little lonely. But this is my reality and what can I do?
Ok. Etta James' "At Last" just came on the radio. That's just a little much. But rather than be bitter that I don't have what I had before, I can be grateful that I had it, and have faith that life has special days in store for me again. As far as my pessimistic last blog, trust and faith may be the hardest things to keep, but what is life without them? Not something I want to know.
My apartment isn't mine anymore, and though it feels like Houston is more my home than anywhere else in the world, what will it be without the people I love? It feels like everything that was important to me is being slowly dissolved until there's nothing left.
"I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again."
I think that God talks to you in the only way he can, through other people. Everyone's been telling me how I need to enjoy my time here. I'd been ignoring it, thinking that people didn't understand what I was going through. Then it finally really hit me. I do not have the power to change what is going on at home. I am in a different country, and if I spend all my time agonizing about what's going on somewhere else and things I have no control over right now, I was going to miss out on my time here. I will never have this time to live over again, I have to try to get the most out of it. And so I'm trying to.
Last night I went to the Tobogan with a huge group of friends and danced and danced. At 1 AM we squeezed 8 people into a Corolla and went to Denny's. It cracked me up, because it felt like being like I was at home again, meaning I was happy. I was having one of the best nights since I've gotten here.
But today it's Valentine's Day. Now, as strong and independent as you are, it is still tough to be alone on Valentine's Day, without so much as friends to bake cupcakes with and eat frosting and bitch about how we're alone on Valentine's Day. I remember last year when I got the most special day of my life and it's hard not to be sad and a little lonely. But this is my reality and what can I do?
Ok. Etta James' "At Last" just came on the radio. That's just a little much. But rather than be bitter that I don't have what I had before, I can be grateful that I had it, and have faith that life has special days in store for me again. As far as my pessimistic last blog, trust and faith may be the hardest things to keep, but what is life without them? Not something I want to know.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Perceptions
I've been thinking about so much stuff lately that there is literally a constant pressure in my head. How people perceive the world boggles me. I mean, perception in general shapes what you believe, how you act, and what you think. We make all these judgments on people based on five minutes of what we see in front of us, never knowing what is going on underneath what they've shown us. We don't know people's pasts, or who they are when they're alone or with different people. Everything we see is based on us, on who we are and what's going on in our lives which means we could be wrong about so many things that we've perceived in the past.
Another thing that I'm confused by right now is trust, faith and belief. I mean, the idea that to trust someone, you have to believe that they are telling you the truth when you have NO idea what is really going on. I mean, it's almost like closing your eyes and jumping off a bridge because someone tells you there is a net under you. I mean, it makes no sense. People could be doing anything, and telling you something else. Yet, a life without faith or trust is so empty. God, how do you just not go crazy thinking of all the things someone could be doing while you aren't with them.
Another thing that I'm confused by right now is trust, faith and belief. I mean, the idea that to trust someone, you have to believe that they are telling you the truth when you have NO idea what is really going on. I mean, it's almost like closing your eyes and jumping off a bridge because someone tells you there is a net under you. I mean, it makes no sense. People could be doing anything, and telling you something else. Yet, a life without faith or trust is so empty. God, how do you just not go crazy thinking of all the things someone could be doing while you aren't with them.
Monday, February 09, 2004
Panama, cont.
After I met up with the group we went for another boat ride, this time to Dolphin's Bay. Oh man, the dolphins there were awesome, they kept popping up and flipping around. Did you know dolphins eat jellyfish? I need a dolphin buddy to come keep me company in the water because some of these beaches are a little sketch. After hanging out with Flipper and co., and wasting my battery trying to capture a picture of one, we went to go scuba diving around the coral reef, then catch some lunch. The coral reef was cool since I'd never been scuba diving before, but it wasn't as spectacular as I thought it would be. It made me realize how humans can affect nature with all their boats and souvenier taking.
The rest of the day and night was my own so I rented a bike and went exploring. There was a nice beach with a great bar that had excellent watermelon daquiries where I journaled for a while. I found an Indian restuarant so I skipped group dinner and went to have some curry alone. It was cool because this was a tiny little cafe where this traveling musician started playing all this cuban music.
I realized that that was the first time I'd really had privacy in a while. Before, going to dinner alone would have bothered me but now I'm finding a lot of peace in getting away from everyone else and just taking time for me. It's not always deep and pensive but it's still nice to just have time to relax and reflect.
Sunday was basically a travel day that lasted 10 hours in a boat, taxi or bus. I think that I am done with packaged tours though. I enjoy traveling when I have the ability to choose what I do, when I do it, and whom I do it with. I'm really excited for my friends who are coming up in 18 days. We are going to have such a good time!
The rest of the day and night was my own so I rented a bike and went exploring. There was a nice beach with a great bar that had excellent watermelon daquiries where I journaled for a while. I found an Indian restuarant so I skipped group dinner and went to have some curry alone. It was cool because this was a tiny little cafe where this traveling musician started playing all this cuban music.
I realized that that was the first time I'd really had privacy in a while. Before, going to dinner alone would have bothered me but now I'm finding a lot of peace in getting away from everyone else and just taking time for me. It's not always deep and pensive but it's still nice to just have time to relax and reflect.
Sunday was basically a travel day that lasted 10 hours in a boat, taxi or bus. I think that I am done with packaged tours though. I enjoy traveling when I have the ability to choose what I do, when I do it, and whom I do it with. I'm really excited for my friends who are coming up in 18 days. We are going to have such a good time!
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Panema
First a recap on the rest of my birthday activities. At night my tica family had this huge party for me with tons of food, music, presents and dancing. I got to meet all their friends and relatives and it made me feel like a part of the family. I must say that I have mixed emotions about the homestay. On one hand, I value my independence almost as much as anything in my life, so not having any privacy is tough. On the other hand, being with people is really nice sometimes. This family has totally taken me in, listened to my problems, nursed me when I was sick, and been really supportive whenever I need it. They are really wonderful and it's amazing to know how many really good people are in this world. I do know that I am glad I didn't get an apartment with another American because I wouldn't have had half the experiece I've had so far if I'd been around that many gringos. There will be a later blog on the use of the word gringo and the Costa Rican national identity.
Yesterday I woke up at the crack of dawn to get on a mini-bus to head to Panama. This trip has taught me several things: Pay attention to what is going on a around you. I am such a flake sometimes, this is how I managed to go to California instead of Costa Rica. On this particular trip I managed to forget my passport at home (luckily we were only five minutes away from home at the time) then wander away when I was supposed to be getting my entrance visa to Panama. On both occasions I wasn't totally at fault. They drill it into your head NEVER to carry your passport around so I had a notorized copy with me, but I didn't snap that I was going into another country and that wouldn't fly. On the second occasion, no one told me I would need a Panamanian entrance visa, however, I've learned that in the long run, it doesn't matter who is at fault if you have to pay the consequences. So, I'll be paying a lot more attention to what goes on around me from this point.
I've had a lot of time for introspection lately. The four to eight hour bus rides are really good for that kind of thing. My tica mom tells me "No dejas que te roben la paz" which means "Don't let other people steal your peace." I'm trying to live by these words. In Panama I'm staying with a girl who is so uptight about everything, getting dirty, not having a hot shower, insects, the food, the weather and what other people look like. On one hand everything she complains about makes me realize how trivial those things are and makes me happy that I've loosed up somewhat over the years, beacuse those things would have bothered me too at some other point in my life. On the other hand, she's really pissing me off. However, I'm attempting to not let other people affect what this trip will mean to me, I should just chill and take in the positive stuff. I've learned that if you try hard enough, you can turn any bad experience into a lesson, if you're in the right frame of mind.
I'm learning a lot from the people who surround me. On the way to our island, (we're staying on an archipelago near the mainland) we had to take a boat through all these marshy lands and there were a lot of Panamanians in canoes, fishing and washing their clothes and basically just living their lives. These tourists kept waving at them and snapping pictures of every person they saw, as though these people's poverty was quaint or something. Personally I have no problem taking pictures of the beaches, animals, plants, whatever, but taking these people's pictures while they're going throught their daily routine seems, I don't know, wrong. It's like you're making the point that your life is so drastically different from theirs that you have to take their picture because you want to show people back home that there really are folks like that here. It makes it hard for me to enjoy being a traveler sometimes because I want to see the world but I hate being grouped in with so many people who have no regard for the natural state of these people's lives. It's tough because like it or not, I'm a tourist too.
Time to meet up with the group again. Did I mention I was here with a class? Our Afro-latin studies prof brought a couple of us from class with a tourist group because he's a tour guide on the side. I swear, this man is seriously bothering me. He hits on all the girls in class and keeps flirting with everyone and telling me how pretty my eyes are and all this other crap. If he touches me one more time, I'm gonna hit him.
Yesterday I woke up at the crack of dawn to get on a mini-bus to head to Panama. This trip has taught me several things: Pay attention to what is going on a around you. I am such a flake sometimes, this is how I managed to go to California instead of Costa Rica. On this particular trip I managed to forget my passport at home (luckily we were only five minutes away from home at the time) then wander away when I was supposed to be getting my entrance visa to Panama. On both occasions I wasn't totally at fault. They drill it into your head NEVER to carry your passport around so I had a notorized copy with me, but I didn't snap that I was going into another country and that wouldn't fly. On the second occasion, no one told me I would need a Panamanian entrance visa, however, I've learned that in the long run, it doesn't matter who is at fault if you have to pay the consequences. So, I'll be paying a lot more attention to what goes on around me from this point.
I've had a lot of time for introspection lately. The four to eight hour bus rides are really good for that kind of thing. My tica mom tells me "No dejas que te roben la paz" which means "Don't let other people steal your peace." I'm trying to live by these words. In Panama I'm staying with a girl who is so uptight about everything, getting dirty, not having a hot shower, insects, the food, the weather and what other people look like. On one hand everything she complains about makes me realize how trivial those things are and makes me happy that I've loosed up somewhat over the years, beacuse those things would have bothered me too at some other point in my life. On the other hand, she's really pissing me off. However, I'm attempting to not let other people affect what this trip will mean to me, I should just chill and take in the positive stuff. I've learned that if you try hard enough, you can turn any bad experience into a lesson, if you're in the right frame of mind.
I'm learning a lot from the people who surround me. On the way to our island, (we're staying on an archipelago near the mainland) we had to take a boat through all these marshy lands and there were a lot of Panamanians in canoes, fishing and washing their clothes and basically just living their lives. These tourists kept waving at them and snapping pictures of every person they saw, as though these people's poverty was quaint or something. Personally I have no problem taking pictures of the beaches, animals, plants, whatever, but taking these people's pictures while they're going throught their daily routine seems, I don't know, wrong. It's like you're making the point that your life is so drastically different from theirs that you have to take their picture because you want to show people back home that there really are folks like that here. It makes it hard for me to enjoy being a traveler sometimes because I want to see the world but I hate being grouped in with so many people who have no regard for the natural state of these people's lives. It's tough because like it or not, I'm a tourist too.
Time to meet up with the group again. Did I mention I was here with a class? Our Afro-latin studies prof brought a couple of us from class with a tourist group because he's a tour guide on the side. I swear, this man is seriously bothering me. He hits on all the girls in class and keeps flirting with everyone and telling me how pretty my eyes are and all this other crap. If he touches me one more time, I'm gonna hit him.
Thursday, February 05, 2004
22!
Rang in my birthday with a bunch of people I didn't know, drinking waaay too much. I hate to be a sad drunk but it made me realize how special my other birthdays were. I mean, sure I'm in exotic Costa Rica, but those birthdays I spent at home being woken up in the morning by my family singing and bearing a cake, or when my friends and loved ones gave me a champagne toast at midnight, those were special birthdays. Goes to show though, you have to make your own way sometimes. Thanks to everyone for all the e-cards, phone calls and emails, it made being away from home a little easier.
As the blog is evidence, I survived my bungee jump. Ok, that was the most horrible thing I've ever done that I never want to do again, yet am glad I did. First the specs. I was driven to a bridge 350 feet in the air where there is a bungee station. There were five of us total, me and Joe and three random but very nice Aussies. I went third after watching the other guys go first. I managed to stay calm for most of it but when you walk up to the little platform, oh man. It's at that point you realize that you are not strapped into anything and you really are about to free fall. I asked for a minute but the guy behind the camera (yes I have a video!) said the longer you wait the worse it is, so I had them go straight into the count down. I wanted to swan dive off the platform and just fly, but me and grace have never been very close so what I ended up doing was kind of frog leaping off. At the count of 1 I squatted down to jump off but my legs froze and wouldn't extend so I just fell foward. The whole way down I had my eyes shut because my brain was so pissed that I threw my self off a bridge that it refused to co-operate with my will. The snap of it kind of hurt my shoulder, but the rest of it was ok. That is until you bouce back up, then have to fall some more. I think I waved my hands around, which was to shake out the nerves but apparently looked like I was trying to fly. The middle part where you're just swinging around was fun, but then you have to stay upside down a while, which was not so fun.
I tried to make the jump symbolic, kind of like letting go of all the stupid little things, trying to let go of all the negativity in my life. Trust me, nothing can ever be as scary as jumping off a bridge, not taking a new job, not breaking up with someone, not the first time someone sees you naked, NOTHING! So, if I've jumped off a bridge, I can do anything right?
Now I'm back in San Jose, skipping class cause I'm still nauseated. I will never ever do that again, however, if anyone wants to go skydiving, I'm there.
Rang in my birthday with a bunch of people I didn't know, drinking waaay too much. I hate to be a sad drunk but it made me realize how special my other birthdays were. I mean, sure I'm in exotic Costa Rica, but those birthdays I spent at home being woken up in the morning by my family singing and bearing a cake, or when my friends and loved ones gave me a champagne toast at midnight, those were special birthdays. Goes to show though, you have to make your own way sometimes. Thanks to everyone for all the e-cards, phone calls and emails, it made being away from home a little easier.
As the blog is evidence, I survived my bungee jump. Ok, that was the most horrible thing I've ever done that I never want to do again, yet am glad I did. First the specs. I was driven to a bridge 350 feet in the air where there is a bungee station. There were five of us total, me and Joe and three random but very nice Aussies. I went third after watching the other guys go first. I managed to stay calm for most of it but when you walk up to the little platform, oh man. It's at that point you realize that you are not strapped into anything and you really are about to free fall. I asked for a minute but the guy behind the camera (yes I have a video!) said the longer you wait the worse it is, so I had them go straight into the count down. I wanted to swan dive off the platform and just fly, but me and grace have never been very close so what I ended up doing was kind of frog leaping off. At the count of 1 I squatted down to jump off but my legs froze and wouldn't extend so I just fell foward. The whole way down I had my eyes shut because my brain was so pissed that I threw my self off a bridge that it refused to co-operate with my will. The snap of it kind of hurt my shoulder, but the rest of it was ok. That is until you bouce back up, then have to fall some more. I think I waved my hands around, which was to shake out the nerves but apparently looked like I was trying to fly. The middle part where you're just swinging around was fun, but then you have to stay upside down a while, which was not so fun.
I tried to make the jump symbolic, kind of like letting go of all the stupid little things, trying to let go of all the negativity in my life. Trust me, nothing can ever be as scary as jumping off a bridge, not taking a new job, not breaking up with someone, not the first time someone sees you naked, NOTHING! So, if I've jumped off a bridge, I can do anything right?
Now I'm back in San Jose, skipping class cause I'm still nauseated. I will never ever do that again, however, if anyone wants to go skydiving, I'm there.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
I thought that this weekend was going to be spent relaxing and hanging out in San Jose but life had other plans for me. Friday night I met up with Halima and we went to Cafe Expresivo, my new favorite spot. We watched a theatrical Bolero group perform a highly entertaining mix of music/theater. After the show I met up with a huge group of students (and one very sexy un-student) and we went dancing. San Jose is home of this amazing salsa club called El Tobogan, if you can call it a club. It's really more of a HUGE hut with a live orchestra and the most expansive dance floor you've ever seen.
We stayed and danced the night away.
At 8AM Shari called me to ask if I wanted to go to the beach, so I got my lazy butt out of bed and packed. We were originally going to go with a group of guys to Cahuita on the Carribean coast but ended up going to the Pacific coast with Shari's tico brother, who was going on business. This guy is a business man but he could be a politician for all the people he knew. We stopped by someone's house and had lunch, then cruised around in his AVT. The guy knew everyone, everywhere.
In the morning we went to the beach where we met these cool surfer guys. They lent us their boards and gave us a mini lesson in return for Jorge lending them his cell phone. I only went out once and ended up nose diving into the water but hey, the waves were bad. lol. Surfing is very hard but very fun. After a morning of beach we headed back. I noticed I was a little burnt but thought nothing of it. Holy hell, on the way home I realized I was cooked. Jorge, like all Costa Ricans, is very nice and friendly on dry land but put him behind the wheel and he becomes a cursing, finger throwing, tailgatting punk. It's a national condition.
Anyhow somewhere along the bumpy dirt roads and the curves he was taking at 50 miles an hour, I realized I was pretty damaged. We finally got home at midnight and I spent all of yesterday trying to move as little as possible and slathering aloe vera on my shoulders.
We stayed and danced the night away.
At 8AM Shari called me to ask if I wanted to go to the beach, so I got my lazy butt out of bed and packed. We were originally going to go with a group of guys to Cahuita on the Carribean coast but ended up going to the Pacific coast with Shari's tico brother, who was going on business. This guy is a business man but he could be a politician for all the people he knew. We stopped by someone's house and had lunch, then cruised around in his AVT. The guy knew everyone, everywhere.
In the morning we went to the beach where we met these cool surfer guys. They lent us their boards and gave us a mini lesson in return for Jorge lending them his cell phone. I only went out once and ended up nose diving into the water but hey, the waves were bad. lol. Surfing is very hard but very fun. After a morning of beach we headed back. I noticed I was a little burnt but thought nothing of it. Holy hell, on the way home I realized I was cooked. Jorge, like all Costa Ricans, is very nice and friendly on dry land but put him behind the wheel and he becomes a cursing, finger throwing, tailgatting punk. It's a national condition.
Anyhow somewhere along the bumpy dirt roads and the curves he was taking at 50 miles an hour, I realized I was pretty damaged. We finally got home at midnight and I spent all of yesterday trying to move as little as possible and slathering aloe vera on my shoulders.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)