Just keep swimming

I constantly go from having moments of calm, to being really frustrated and upset. I am trying to hard to have faith that there is a plan for me and that where I am right now is part of that plan. It's tough though. I need words of wisdom and peace and I'm not getting that at all. It might sound kind of high school-y but I've always loved music because there's someone who's singing about what you're going through, no matter what that is. Right now I don't have music and I don't have books and I don't have friends and I'm just ugh.

Blogs are public so I try my best to be positive in them, and think about the good side of things, but sometimes it doesn't feel like there's a good side. You know what it feel like right now? It feels like I'm swimming this huge stretch of white sandy beach where the water is crystal clear and the day is beauiful. I know I should be enjoying it, but I also know that if I stop swimming (i.e. trying to keep a positive mentality) that I'm gonna drown. No problem you say, just keep swimming. Well, the effor of swimming that long is exhuasting sometimes and if you pause to catch your breathe, you start to sink.