Panema

First a recap on the rest of my birthday activities. At night my tica family had this huge party for me with tons of food, music, presents and dancing. I got to meet all their friends and relatives and it made me feel like a part of the family. I must say that I have mixed emotions about the homestay. On one hand, I value my independence almost as much as anything in my life, so not having any privacy is tough. On the other hand, being with people is really nice sometimes. This family has totally taken me in, listened to my problems, nursed me when I was sick, and been really supportive whenever I need it. They are really wonderful and it's amazing to know how many really good people are in this world. I do know that I am glad I didn't get an apartment with another American because I wouldn't have had half the experiece I've had so far if I'd been around that many gringos. There will be a later blog on the use of the word gringo and the Costa Rican national identity.

Yesterday I woke up at the crack of dawn to get on a mini-bus to head to Panama. This trip has taught me several things: Pay attention to what is going on a around you. I am such a flake sometimes, this is how I managed to go to California instead of Costa Rica. On this particular trip I managed to forget my passport at home (luckily we were only five minutes away from home at the time) then wander away when I was supposed to be getting my entrance visa to Panama. On both occasions I wasn't totally at fault. They drill it into your head NEVER to carry your passport around so I had a notorized copy with me, but I didn't snap that I was going into another country and that wouldn't fly. On the second occasion, no one told me I would need a Panamanian entrance visa, however, I've learned that in the long run, it doesn't matter who is at fault if you have to pay the consequences. So, I'll be paying a lot more attention to what goes on around me from this point.

I've had a lot of time for introspection lately. The four to eight hour bus rides are really good for that kind of thing. My tica mom tells me "No dejas que te roben la paz" which means "Don't let other people steal your peace." I'm trying to live by these words. In Panama I'm staying with a girl who is so uptight about everything, getting dirty, not having a hot shower, insects, the food, the weather and what other people look like. On one hand everything she complains about makes me realize how trivial those things are and makes me happy that I've loosed up somewhat over the years, beacuse those things would have bothered me too at some other point in my life. On the other hand, she's really pissing me off. However, I'm attempting to not let other people affect what this trip will mean to me, I should just chill and take in the positive stuff. I've learned that if you try hard enough, you can turn any bad experience into a lesson, if you're in the right frame of mind.

I'm learning a lot from the people who surround me. On the way to our island, (we're staying on an archipelago near the mainland) we had to take a boat through all these marshy lands and there were a lot of Panamanians in canoes, fishing and washing their clothes and basically just living their lives. These tourists kept waving at them and snapping pictures of every person they saw, as though these people's poverty was quaint or something. Personally I have no problem taking pictures of the beaches, animals, plants, whatever, but taking these people's pictures while they're going throught their daily routine seems, I don't know, wrong. It's like you're making the point that your life is so drastically different from theirs that you have to take their picture because you want to show people back home that there really are folks like that here. It makes it hard for me to enjoy being a traveler sometimes because I want to see the world but I hate being grouped in with so many people who have no regard for the natural state of these people's lives. It's tough because like it or not, I'm a tourist too.

Time to meet up with the group again. Did I mention I was here with a class? Our Afro-latin studies prof brought a couple of us from class with a tourist group because he's a tour guide on the side. I swear, this man is seriously bothering me. He hits on all the girls in class and keeps flirting with everyone and telling me how pretty my eyes are and all this other crap. If he touches me one more time, I'm gonna hit him.